You should’ve named the album hold the candle
5
By Joe Degrazzia
“None Can Hold a Candle” (Because Nobody Can Even Come Close)
Let me just say it: Redman is so good, he makes the rest of the rap game look like a karaoke contest at a middle school talent show. This man doesn’t need fancy tricks or cheap gimmicks to hold your attention—he’s got talent. You remember what talent is, right? It’s that thing rappers used to have before autotune came along and turned the industry into a graveyard of pink flamingos.
Seriously, autotune is like that tacky lawn ornament that everyone pretends is funny but deep down knows is just embarrassing. Yeah, okay, sometimes someone uses it well, and we all clap politely. But most of the time? It’s a cover-up for the fact that these “artists” can’t rap, can’t sing, and definitely can’t perform live without sounding like a cat caught in a blender. But don’t worry, they’ll drop a video of themselves in a rented Lamborghini to distract you from their complete lack of skills.
And then there’s Redman, the guy who shows up and destroys your entire playlist with just one verse. His wordplay is so sharp, I’m pretty sure it could perform surgery. He doesn’t just write lyrics—he writes art. Every punchline, every rhyme scheme, every flow is like a masterclass in what real hip-hop sounds like. Meanwhile, half the new rappers out here can’t even deliver a basic verse without a team of writers and five hours of vocal editing.
Oh, and Let’s Talk About the Live Shows
Redman? He gets on stage and delivers every word perfectly. No backing tracks, no lip-syncing, no audio engineers scrambling to fix his mess. Just pure, unfiltered skill. The new generation? Yeah, good luck finding even one rapper who can perform a full set without sounding like a broken toy. They’re out here mumbling into the mic like they forgot the lyrics to their own songs.
Redman and Eminem: A Tag Team Nobody Could Survive
Now, imagine Redman teaming up with Eminem for a double album. Honestly, it would probably be illegal. The bars would be so good, they’d have to put a warning label on it. “Caution: May cause embarrassment to all current rappers.” These two would just shred every beat, leaving no survivors. And if you think today’s autotune-heavy mumble rappers could survive even one verse from that album, you’re probably listening to too much TikTok music.
The Bottom Line
If Redman called this album None Can Hold a Candle, it wouldn’t even be bragging—it would just be a factual statement. Nobody can touch this man, and the current generation of rappers wouldn’t even make it past soundcheck if they tried to compete. So here’s a suggestion for all the autotune-addicted, trap-beat-recycling rappers out there: maybe take a few notes. Or don’t—because watching Redman crush you with one freestyle is way more entertaining anyway. Straight from the bricks!
